


I Found a Mirror for my Soul (I Don't Need no Other)

by Kufikiria



Series: Any Time, Any Place [15]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: (to a certain point), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, B99 Summer 2019 Fic Exchange, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, F/M, Romance, mention of non-soulmates dianetti
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-26 03:03:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19759261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kufikiria/pseuds/Kufikiria
Summary: When she realizes her sleeve has rolled up a little, showing the skin of her wrist and tries to cover it again, it’s already too late. Jake’s seen it. He’s caught sight of the glowing “S” printed there. “S” as in, Soulmate.Amy finally found hers – and, obviously, it’s not him.(Post-4x22 soulmates AU, in which Jake and Amy are not soulmates and she finds hers while Jake is in jail.)





	I Found a Mirror for my Soul (I Don't Need no Other)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [explodingsnapple](https://archiveofourown.org/users/explodingsnapple/gifts).



> This is my fic for the B99 summer exchange, answering @exploding-snapple’s prompt of “a Soulmates AU but they are not soulmates”! :) It was a lot of fun (and pain lol) to work on this so thank you for inspiring me with your ideas! Hope you’ll like it :D
> 
> Also, a huge thank you to @elsaclack and @startofamoment for coming up with the idea + @amez-santiago, @cheddar-the-dog and @amydancepants-peralta for your precious help with the story!

He can sense from the moment she wraps her arms around his body that something’s off.

There’s something about the way she holds onto him – tighter than usual, with her head buried in the crook of his neck in complete silence – that doesn’t feel right, even with this poor situation they’re stuck in. He might not be her soulmate, but Jake knows Amy better than anyone else still. Or at least he thinks (and hopes) so.

At first, he guesses it has to do with his and Rosa’s case. Did the squad reach a dead end, received more bad news?

But then he sees it. It should have crossed his mind before – after all, even for someone like Amy, wearing a long-sleeves blouse _and_ a jacket inside (especially when it’s so hot outside) is too much. It’s not when you want to hide something that’s on your arm, though. He should have paid more attention to the hand she oddly kept under the table on her lap too.

She must forget about it for a moment, distraught by the desperation in his voice he tries (and apparently fails) to hide behind a forced laugh as she grabs his hand with hers and squeezes softly in a gesture that’s supposed to be reassuring. When she realizes her sleeve has rolled up a little, showing the skin of her wrist and tries to cover it again, it’s already too late. Jake’s seen it.

He’s caught sight of the glowing “S” printed there.

“S” as in, _Soulmate_.

Amy finally found hers – and, obviously, it’s not him. This is no news, though. They knew that from the beginning. Her soulmark didn’t start glowing when they first met all these years ago – and anyways, Jake doesn’t have any anywhere on his own body to match hers. Only children of soulmates get one.

His parents weren’t.

Still, they decided to give their story a chance. It’s not like Amy was a big fan of soulmates, she told him back then – she really didn’t like having someone arbitrary decide who she should fall in love with. She was a grown woman, capable of making her own decisions. But what about now that she got to _meet_ them?! Maybe she changed her mind. Maybe they _are_ perfect for her indeed.

Her better half. Better than Jake.

“ _Jake…”_ Her voice is soft when she calls his name, almost pleading even. It takes him out of his spiralling thoughts. He forces his gaze away from the mark to look at her.

He’s silent for a moment as he stares at her. He can see she’s waiting for him to say something – _anything_. The atmosphere is heavy and awkward between them, he can feel it, and he hates it. It’s something that hasn’t happened for a while and he didn’t miss it. She seems to be hurting as much as he does, and he hates _that_ too – to see her like that.

“I bet he can grow a full beard, huh?” he eventually jokes. It’s the only way he knows how to deal with this new piece of information he just found out. _Amy met her soulmate._

His future was already uncertain, what with being locked up in this hell of a place but right now, it seems even more doomed than before. Like there’s no escape. Even if he gets out.

He can’t begin to imagine a life without Amy by his side.

“I… don’t know,” she genuinely – though shockingly – answers. “I don’t know anything about him. I didn’t talk to him.” Jake is startled by her words, to say the least, but somehow he believes her.

“You didn’t?” he stills asks. Believing doesn’t mean he understands. And even though he should be relieved, this revelation doesn’t quite help soothe the pain.

“No. I didn’t even realize right away my wrist was burning and glowing. I was too lost in my thoughts thinking about a way to free you out. _You._ The one person I love.” She shoots him a knowing look as she lets out the last words and offers him a small smile. She brings her hand back onto his and squeezes again.

His body relaxes with her touch, if only for a slight moment.

Because all of a sudden, the hurtful thought occurs to him. It makes his heart ache as he unwillingly takes his hand away from her. The smile she managed to bring to his face fades, replaced with a worried expression. “Wait. Does this mean you missed your chance at knowing who he is?”

“I guess so.” Amy shrugs, as if this is no big deal. It is for Jake. “It’s not like I needed to anyway.”

“You don’t know that…” Jake lets out a desperate sigh.

“What is this supposed to mean?!” He sees the crease between her brows deepens; he sees the pain flashing inside her eyes.

He hates himself a little more for being the one inflicting her that.

The words are hard to let out, but he has to say them. “Ames, I might be locked in here for _fifteen_ _years_. What if meeting him now was a sign? What if it was your chance at starting over with the one person you’ve always been supposed to be and not having to watch your life pass you by as you wait for someone who’s not worth it?” he snaps. The words taste like poison in his mouth.

A beat passes – it feels like an eternity.

“You’re joking, right?!” There’s anger in Amy’s gaze now as he eventually finds the guts to look at her. “Jake, I haven’t slept in three weeks because I’ve been worrying about you all the time. I need you in my life. Not some guy the universe somehow decided to pair me with.”

She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second. Her features are softer when she opens them again.

“I meant what I said before they took you away. I’ll wait for you. And I’ll fight for you. I won’t stop until you’re back home, soulmate or no soulmate,” she says – more like _promises_ – in a tender voice.

This time, Jake’s heart fully warms up, somehow hopeful. He opens his mouth but he doesn’t get the chance to speak. A warden comes by at the same moment.

She beats him at it.

“Time’s up,” she informs in a threatening voice, barely watching him. “Time to get back to your cell.” Her eyes are filled with disgust for the rogue cop she thinks he is. If only she knew the truth.

(He wonders how many times he gave a perp a severe, judging glare himself, and how many times it was actually an innocent he was putting behind bars.)

The pressure of Amy’s hand on his brings him back to reality. They exchange one last knowing look before they’re both forced to stand up and go separate ways.

“I’ll be back in three weeks,” she tells him. Jake only nods in silence.

* * *

When Amy doesn’t show up three weeks later, Jake starts imagining the worst. He’s pretty sure she managed to find her soulmate finally (given how good a detective she is, it wouldn’t take her long to get a name or an address) and changed her mind about him. She probably realized she was wrong all along and the universe _did_ pair them up for a reason.

Sitting on his tiny prison bed, eyes stuck on the pictures of her – and _them_ – on the wall, he starts picturing her with her full-bearded soulmate and a happy smile showing on both their faces. They’re probably heading to the stationery store near the apartment on her day off, walking hand-in-hand as they gush about new binder smell.

Yep, she’s most likely better off without him. She can probably sleep again at night, wrapped up in the Bearded Man’s arms.

Jake’s never felt too threatened by Amy’s soulmate before. He knew her opinion on the topic from the start, and knew she wasn’t going to search for them. That if she were to cross his path somehow, she would kindly let him in on the situation. _If he’s my true soulmate, he’ll understand and feel the same about it_ _,_ she used to say.

He cared so little about the fact he wasn’t her soulmate even, he’d started to plan to ask her to _marry him_ before the whole jail fiasco happened. She’s the love of his life and he didn’t need a glowing mark on his wrist to prove him so. The way she made – still _makes_ – him feel was enough proof of that.

Sure, he had this example of his parents, who also believed they knew better than the universe only to end up in a broken marriage. But they weren’t the only non-soulmates who still tried to make a life together – and most of them ended up just fine. More recently, he even got the example of two soulmates not being as compatible as they were supposed to, when Rosa broke up with Pimento.

She’s found love in Gina since then, and seems a lot happier with the woman than she ever appeared to be with the other cop. So why shouldn’t it be the case for him and Amy too?

Right now though, all he can think about is that he might have been a fool for believing in all this crap. You don’t play with the universe’s rules. _Rules are made to be followed,_ Amy would say.

And yet she broke one (several even) by engaging in a relationship with him. That was before she met her soulmate, though. She must have come back to her senses now.

This must be why she didn’t show up today. Jake can’t think of any other explanation.

(The thought that she might be out there, fighting for _him_ , doesn’t even occur to him once. He’s too lost in his self-depreciation for that. That’s what being wrongfully imprisoned does to you, after a while of being locked away – it takes away all the hopes you might once have had.)

He knows he told her, on her last visit, that she shouldn’t have left her chance with her soulmate pass by. And really, he’s not mad at her for following his advice and giving the man a chance at all. She deserves to be happy and have a real life of her own, a life that isn’t filled with sleepless nights and constant worry for her boyfriend-who’s-not-even-her-soulmate.

He’s just sad, because now the one thing that actually helped him go through his days is lost. Now, he doesn’t have any awesome proposal to plan. He doesn’t have this _one_ secret to think about all day long instead of wallowing in his misery. He doesn’t have _her_ to keep him together.

Slowly, Jake takes out the small piece of paper securely hidden under his pillow and lets out a sigh as he reads his little scribbles.

 _Jake Peralta’s amazing proposal plan to Amy Santiago,_ it reads. He won’t need it now. Or ever, for that matter.

Because she found her soulmate. And it’s probably _his_ ring she’ll soon be wearing on her left finger.

(At least if he stays locked up in here, he thinks, he won’t be there to have to witness their love blossoming.)

* * *

The moon is shining high in the dark sky by the time Amy finally gets home. She lets herself fall on the couch with a sigh, a well-deserved cup of hot chocolate she bought from her favorite Polish place in hand. She looks around the empty, quiet place as she takes a sip of the beverage. It might have been a few weeks now but this deafening silence and extreme tidiness she gets to come home to doesn’t get more familiar with time. If anything, it only gets more suffocating.

She wishes Jake was here, filling the place with his endless stories and pieces of clothing lying around the house. It used to annoy her. Now she’d give everything to have it – and _him_ – back.

She was supposed to see him, today. She’s been waiting for it ever since she had to leave him three weeks ago – even more so after the way they had to leave things, with him figuring out she finally found her soulmate. It’s not like she wasn’t going to tell him – of course she was going to tell him, especially since there was nothing to hide. She just didn’t want him to find out like _that_.

A new lead came for his and Rosa’s case, though, and she thought this couldn’t wait. If the lead turned out to be useful, she could get to see him soon without having a clock literally ticking over their heads. One hour – that’s all the time they had for each visit. It’s better than what they had to go through when he was away in Florida, and yet in a sense it’s worse.

She couldn’t let the chance pass by, then. She believes he’ll understand when she explains herself to him next time.

Unfortunately, the lead turned out to be another dead end and now she has to wait for at least another full week before seeing his face again. Which sucks. Because she misses him.

A little more each day.

Amy puts her cup on the table in front of her and stands up to change into more comfortable clothes. She heads towards one of his drawers first, the one where he leaves his hoodies to pick one. She already almost worn them all out. It’s silly, but wearing his clothes actually makes her feel like he’s here with her – with his arms wrapped around her body and his recognizable scent overwhelming her.

As she grabs the hoodie to take it out, she notices a little box hidden under it. She doesn’t remember seeing it before. She frowns as she leaves the hoodie to grab it instead.

She doesn’t need to actually open it to understand what’s inside the box. Even someone who’s not a detective could easily guess. She still opens it, her curiosity stronger than the voice inside her head telling her she shouldn’t do it and just put it back where she found it. Where it truly _belongs_.

Knowing what awaits her doesn’t stop her heart from missing a beat when she comes face-to-face with the little ring – it’s simple but _oh so_ beautiful. The small diamond on top is shining bright in the dark of her (of _their_ ) room. Its glow comes clashing with the one coming from her wrist and for a moment, Amy’s gaze goes from the little piece of jewellery to the mark on her arm.

Then back to the ring again.

She knew that already, but now more than ever she’s persuaded that soulmates don’t matter. Only who your heart chooses does.

Because there is no way in the world someone could make her feel as full and happy as learning Jake wants to spend the rest of his life with her does.

(It’s a still bittersweet feeling, though. Because he’s not actually _there_ to propose. But he will be soon. She’s gonna work twice as hard to make sure of that.)

* * *

Jake does come back soon indeed. Actually, he comes back before Amy gets the chance to visit him again.

He seems surprised, when he passes the doors and sees _her_ there, waiting for him with a smile and tears that start falling the second she wraps her arms around his body – for how long as they wish to this time. He seems hesitant in the way he hugs her back, too. There are bags under his eyes and disbelief shining inside of them when they part and she studies his face for a beat.

“What are you doing here?” Out of all the things she thought he might say during their reunion, Amy surely didn’t expect _that_. There’s no pettiness in his voice though; only genuine wonder.

And maybe that’s even worse.

“You really thought I’d miss picking you up after not seeing you for weeks?”

“You didn’t show up on visiting day,” he says in a low, broken voice. Again, he doesn’t seem mad. Just sad. She catches his eyes narrowing down towards her wrist and quickly pieces everything together. Her heart breaks a little at the realization and she can’t help but feel guilty.

She slowly reaches for his hand and takes it in hers.

“I know… And I’m sorry about that. We got a lead for your and Rosa’s case. That’s why I didn’t come. I thought we’d finally found a way to free you out. I couldn’t miss it.”

Jake eventually looks at her. Amy can still make out the insecurity inside his eyes as she shoots him a smile.

“Hey,” she says softly. “I promise, I didn’t search for him. I didn’t think about him once, and I will _not_ search for him. Never. Especially now…” she trails off, her smile growing fonder with the thought – _especially now that I know you want to marry me_ , she doesn’t say it. She doesn’t want to ruin the surprise more than she already has.

Amy takes a step forward, breaking the small remaining distance between their bodies and kisses him tenderly. God, how she missed the taste of his lips on hers.

“I love you,” she whispers when they part, forehead resting against forehead and eyes barely open.

“I love you too,” Jake’s answer is somehow shy.

* * *

Things are a little awkward at home, at first. And it’s not only because of the trauma Jake went through while being wrongfully imprisoned – Amy can tell there’s more to it. She can tell it has to do with her finding her soulmate as well. Even if she makes it sure every day Jake knows how this other man doesn’t matter to her. He’s the _only one_ who does. The only one who will ever do.

Still, he doesn’t seem to get it.

“Go on. Spill it out, Santiago. You clearly need to vent.” Rosa joins her at the bar with two beers in her hands one night while the whole squad is at Shaw’s.

It’s been more than a month since she and Jake got out of prison and not much has changed in his behavior since. He’s been nowhere since proposing to her either. And even though she knows she _has_ to leave him time – and she _does_ leave him all the time and space he needs –, she can’t help but miss him.

Miss what they were, before jail and soulmates happened.

She lets out a desperate sigh, talking as she stares at the beer her friend just offered. “Jake’s been acting weird since he went back from prison. And I know you guys went through a lot and it will take some time for him to get past that, but I think there’s more than that. I think it has to do with me finding my soulmate – it’s like it broke something between us…” It surely pains her to say that.

“Who cares you found him? Soulmates are dumb,” Rosa shrugs.

“I know. And I thought Jake knew too, but apparently he doesn’t anymore.” Amy pauses. She looks around, just to be sure there’s no one listening to them. She catches sight of Jake somewhere in the distance in a conversation with Holt and Terry. He seems to feel her gaze on him as he looks back and shoots her a shy smile when their eyes meet.

Behind the pain, the pure unmitigated love and adoration are still there, she can see them – they’re just waiting to shine bright again.

She puts her whole attention back on Rosa, then goes on in a whisper. “There’s a ring hidden in one of his drawers. I found it while he was still in jail. He was planning on proposing to me. But I think he’s hesitant to do it now.” Amy recalls a few nights here and there, when she caught him shoot small glances at the drawer, then look at her and let out a desperate sigh.

It made her heart ache every time. If only he could know he doesn’t have anything to worry about. If only he knew he’s the love of her life too, and she’d say yes in a heartbeat.

Amy can swear she witnesses the slightest smile curving up the corner’s of Rosa’s mouth as she learns about her friends (potentially) getting married. It doesn’t stay too long, though.

“Well, if you think he’s holding back because he’s afraid you might say no because of your soulmate, why don’t you just go ahead and propose to him yourself? He’ll realize he has nothing to be scared of, then, and that you mean it when you say he matters more than your soulmate.”

Amy feels so stupid, suddenly. _Of course_. Why didn’t she think about it herself?! This is the perfect plan indeed.

“I missed you so much,” she says with sincerity. Behind this apparent heart of steel hides an amazing friend always here when you need her – Amy learned that particularly while Jake was in Florida.

This time, Rosa’s smile remains long enough for her to get a true glimpse of it.

“I missed you too,” she acknowledges as she takes a sip of her beer.

* * *

At least when he’s at work, Jake seems to have come back to being his true self again – although it took him a while for that too. He’s pretty excited then, when Amy shows him the _perfect_ case for them to crack together. It took her all of two weeks and three days to make it up. Two weeks and three days to create the _perfect_ proposal plan.

She knows Jake, and not only as her girlfriend – as her _partner in crime_ for years too – so she knows which cases he likes to be assigned to the most. He puts his whole heart into it the minute it’s presented to him and even though Amy made it difficult enough for him not to find it boring, it still doesn’t take him long to ‘crack’ it.

Or at least, find a clue that leads them right where she wants – _needs_ – them to be.

_397, Barton Street._

Or best known as their rooftop.

“Seems like we’re bound to always come back here,” Amy playfully says as they get out of the car and she sees Jake look up at the building in front of them with a frown.

Inside, her heart is literally pounding.

His gaze falls down on her and he offers her a small smile. He’s about to say something, although something catches his eye that makes him look up again, stopping him in his tracks.

“I think I saw someone.” He nudges into the direction.

He pulls out his gun and starts rushing towards the building. Amy follows close behind. There’s a smile on her face and a pang in her chest at the thought of what’s next to come – at the thought of what Jake’s about to find when he opens the door that leads to the top of the roof. She’s both excited and anxious that this maybe wasn’t a good idea and he won’t like it.

He won’t say _yes_.

It’s too late to have second thoughts, though. The little box is weighing inside her pocket and waiting for her to take it out.

Jake seeks her approval once they both stand still in front of the closed door, and kicks it open when she nods. She can see him instantly lower his gun as he takes in the sight in front of them.

“What is that?!” He turns to her, confusion easily readable on his face.

And confused he can be: instead of a criminal, there stands a beautifully laid out scene, with lights and rose petals and a blanket lying right where they were sitting a few years ago.

_Nut?_

_Only if you throw it!_

(Amy surely went all out.)

“Surprise?” She offers him a smile but still, he doesn’t seem to understand.

“Wh–… Did _you_ do this? Why? What about the case?!” His gaze switches from her and the place, several times.

“The case’s not real.” Her smile grows fonder; her heart beats faster. She takes him by the hand and leads him towards the blanket. “It’s all part of the plan.”

The crease between his brows deepens as Jake seems more at loss than ever. “What plan?” Amy takes a deep breath before she goes on.

“This plan.” Then, all of a sudden, she’s on her knees with the small box out and open. The ring inside shines brightly in the sun.

“I don’t understand.” Jake is standing still in front of her, seemingly unable to move, his eyes stuck on her. Amy closes hers for a slight second before she brings them back to him and never leaves his gaze as she starts to speak. _You got this,_ she talks herself up. She wrote down the perfect speech, that she rehearsed more times that she truly needed. She knows it _by heart_.

(She didn’t really need a planned out speech anyways – she just has to look at him for the words to flow out of her mouth naturally, a perfect mix of love declaration and funny anecdotes.)

“Jake Peralta,” she solemnly says his name once she’s done. His eyes, still watching her intently, are full of tears now.

(She can feel the salty pearls prickling inside of hers too.)

“You might not be my soulmate, but you’re something better than that. You’re the love of my life.” Then, a short pause. “Will you marry me?”

A sob escapes Jake’s mouth before he can muster a single word. “I love you so much,” he cries. “Of course I will marry you.” There’s not a glimpse of hesitation in his voice.

Amy stands up, fully crying too now, then puts the ring on her _fiancé_ ’s finger and brings him into a searing kiss to seal this new promise of forever. They don’t draw away just yet when they part, her hands framing his face and catching his happy tears.

“You kind of stole my move, though,” Jake teases and Amy’s heart sours, because their relationship hasn’t felt _this_ normal in weeks. His expression turns serious again a second later. “Hey, I’m sorry for being distant these past weeks.” He sheepishly lowers his gaze. She cups his cheek, gently and lovingly. He doesn’t have to apologize. It hurt, yes, but she _understands_.

He’s been through hell and back.

“And I hope you didn’t think me not proposing to you meant I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with you anymore. Because well, it’s obvious I do.” He puts his left hand up for emphasis. “I was just… afraid you’d end up regretting it if you said yes, and wish you were with someone else. With your true soulmate.” Amy opens her mouth to say something, but he beats her at it. “I know now it was dumb for me to have doubts.”

It’s not what caught her off guard, though – even if she’s thrilled to learn her plan worked and reassured him indeed.

“Wait, how do you know I knew you were planning on proposing to me?!”

“Ames, you know I don’t fold my clothes. And yet when I came back, all of my hoodies were miraculously all perfectly folded in my drawer. Of course I knew you found the ring.” He chuckles, something true and full of amusement and damn, _she missed that so much_.

She missed _them_ so much. It’s a good thing none of them is going anywhere anymore, and will have the rest of their lives to make up for lost times.

“Wanna get out of here and go celebrate our _engagement_ at home?” Jake talks again, shooting her a knowing look.

“I’d love that.” She smiles at him. She lets him lead her towards the door, his hand wrapped around hers. He only lets it go to open the door – but nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing.

“So… We’re locked up again.” He brings his attention back on her, defeated.

The irony of it makes Amy laugh, a happy giggle soon joined by Jake’s own burst of laughter at her reaction. There’s no more pain inside his eyes when she shoots him a glance as he watches her – only the love and adoration remain.

“Well, I mean, I _did_ prepare a bag full of nuts for us to eat,” she tells him knowingly. “And that blanket’s pretty comfortable as well.”

The grin he shoots her in return says it all. It’s brighter than the setting sun above.

 _He’s finally home,_ Amy thinks as Jake excitedly agrees to her offer.

And, somehow, she’s finally home, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Bonus headcanon: in 6x12, another reason why Jake doesn’t want kids is because he knows they won’t have any soulmark. And not having one either, he knows how much it sucks to be looked at with pity and bullied at school.
> 
> In the end though, just like in 6x12, he changes his mind and does want to have kids. With Amy. And when they have their first one, they’re surprised to see she *does* have a soulmark finally!
> 
> They might not be soulmates, but it turns out they’re something much stronger than that. They’re True Love.
> 
> The (Very Corny lmao) End.
> 
> (Anyways, don’t hesitate to tell me what you think and come chat with me on Tumblr @b99peraltiago if you want! ;))


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